Seven Reasons Why Second Marriages Fail

why second marriages fail

In here let’s discuss about why second marriages fail. Actually the divorce rate in the USA for first marriages has held at about 50%. Isn’t it a national tragedy?

This statistic also means that many people have subsequent marriages.
Normally someone who remarries is older, wiser, more mature, has learned from their mistakes, and knows much better what they want and need in a life partner.

In this case the divorce rate for second marriages must substantially lower than the rate for first marriages.

Beyond our common sense expectations, according to demographic data, the divorce rate for subsequent marriages is, in fact, significantly higher than that of first marriages—65%, nearly two out of three!  Why?

As mention above people walking down the aisle a second time typically imagine their first, failed union gives them the experience and wisdom to take a second chance on marital happiness.

This conventional wisdom, like so much conventional wisdom, is wrong.

Everybody knows that first marriages typically have time to solidify before children arrive, but second marriages often have to hit the ground running with children already in there.

Maybe a new step-parent will be the devil personified to the children. Even when you try out to blend with families, it is not the Brady Bunch. Children will fight over turf.

They want their parents. The Henry Gornbein, a family law expert in high profile divorces and mediation, arbitration, and collaborative law eevealed these facts.

In previous years women needed a men just for financial support, notes social historian Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage and The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap, but in these years they no longer need to rely on a man for financial support, enabling them to leave unsatisfactory marriages.

Men, on the other hand, always need a women to maintain the home and found it easier to get raises and promotions if they just married. In addition, the absence of divorce laws made it difficult to leave bad marriages.

Why Second Marriages Fail And End in Divorce?

second marriage divorce rate

 

According to the studies there are many reasons for why second marriages fail and let’s watch out the reasons in details.

Why second marriages fail? Let’s talk about these facts.

Financial Problems

There are many main issues which the primary problems that plague most first marriages.  These same issues also impact subsequent marriages—but even more so.

The money problem becomes even more troublesome in second marriages due to child support and spousal maintenance payments.

Second marriages feel the strain when money is tight and hubby has to send checks to the first wife.

Sex and In low problems

The other main reason is sex issue also gets “interesting” in subsequent marriages, if, for no other reason, one or both of the partners were previously in a committed relationship.

Uncomfortable questions and comparisons are likely to arise.
The other one which happens in-law situation becomes especially taxing in subsequent marriages, particularly when both partners bring a child into the new relationship.

There would be husband’s parents, wife’s parents, husband’s ex’s parents, and wife’s ex’s parents.

Whose house do you go to for Thanksgiving?

Statistically, two of these in-law couples divorced so in this case it add another pair of in-laws this new couple may be appease.

If one of the partners is marrying for the third time and after that they get a child with the previous two spouses, the mathematical permutation of potential in-laws is beyond this liberal arts graduate.

Seven Reasons Why Second Marriages Fail

If you have Children

As we know children helps to keep tenuous marriages together. While natural children are binding agents in first marriages, step-children are often divisive factors in subsequent unions.

Many parents struggle with managing their natural offspring; nearly all stepparents are frustrated with dealing with their step-kids.

A major problem in blended families is partners not supporting each other with regard to the management of their respective natural children.

Your Ex

Some ex-spouses sometimes like to see their ex enter a new relationship when especially when they result in fewer legal motions.

They wish they get filed or reduced child support and alimony payments.

Some ex’s, though, especially if they were the “dumpee,” are resentful when their ex finds a new relationship and may attempt to sabotage it.

Some angry ex’s continue to bring their ex-spouse back to court for various reasons long after the divorce is final.

This adds emotional and financial tension to the new partnership.

Another sad, but unfortunately common ploy, is to negatively lobby the child against the new partner.  This tends to make problem worse than ever.

The Speed at which We Re-Couple

If you have been rejected by someone you once loved or decide to end a committed relationship, attention from another possible suitor is quite intoxicating. Isn’t it?

The studies shows that many separated individuals are in a new exclusive relationship before the ink on the divorce decree is dry.

We like to be coupled. A sizable number of persons will purposely enter a new relationship as a means of extricating themselves from an unfulfilling marriage.

Don’t be rush in to the one relationship into another because it is foolish and does not provide the time to fully explore the new one before becoming emotionally committed to it.

Once the infatuation wanes, the new relationship could be in trouble.

Unconscious Dynamics

There are many reasons trend to why second marriages fail. Psychoanalytic theory holds that whom we marry is pre-determined.

We are unconsciously attracted to individuals with certain characteristics. This attraction does not guarantee a healthy paring; this subconscious desire, in fact, may lead to angst in the relationship.

Reasons of Why Second Marriages Fail

Unfortunately, most of us are unaware of our unconscious forces.
If the marriage ends, we tend to put all the blame on our ex and rarely consider our role in that failed relationship.

Thus, we subsequently unconsciously seek another partner with essentially the same dynamics of our ex—and the next relationship is in jeopardy.

Unable to spend your time with them.

Before going in to a marriage it’s important to get to know someone well.

No one is always the best version of themselves, and it’s important to see someone when they aren’t – see how they handle stress, criticism, bad luck, tough times, rejection, and failure.

How are problems dealt with as a couple?

No wonder most couples from the hit show The Bachelor/The Bachelorette break up.

It’s pretty easy to love someone when it’s all roses, champagne, and rainbows.

Without taking the time to see the whole person – the good, the bad, and the ugly – one won’t get the chance to properly evaluate their new mate before making a major life decision, i.e. marriage.

This applies equally to first marriages and every marriage after.